Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
