Can Purell be used as lube?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
