Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
