I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
