The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
