meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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