Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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