I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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