I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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