yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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