I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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