I haven't been this sober since birth.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
