I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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