Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
