Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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