i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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