Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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