i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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