If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
