Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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