Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
