I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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