The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
