East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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