dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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