how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
