I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
they're like a gay fantastic four
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
