he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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