But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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