i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
