I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
