Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
