My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Randomize
