Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she smelled like a LAN party
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
