so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
