Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
