do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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