marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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