WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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