So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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