thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
