just come out here and I will go home with you...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
