"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
