I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Couch. On fire.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
