tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
