Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
