Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
