We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
