She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
