Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
